Now Entering: Life Bi Me

There are a few nuances about being bi and "in the closet" as they say. For one, it is easy to hide your identity. Take me, for example. I am dating a guy, so therefore most people who encounter me automatically assume I am straight. I have a son. Strike two. I am, for all intents and purposes, pretty feminine. Strike three. What I do find interesting though, is that when these elements aren't completely known about me, I often find myself setting off a couple sensors on people's gaydar.

More than once I have been asked if I am a lesbian. The answer to that is clearly no but that's just a loophole. A loophole, I might add, that has made it painfully simple for me to sidestep my sexual identity without guilt or pause. Well, maybe I do feel a little guilt. In a way I feel as if I am lying by omission even though technically, I am telling them the truth.

Think about it very hard for a second. Have you ever been asked if you were bisexual? Sometimes I think it is taking me so long to come to grips with it because it is so easy to ignore. Hell, people on both ends of the spectrum either act like or truly believe bisexuality doesn't exist. It's frustrating, especially since it seems so hard for me to understand how one can't harbor attraction to both sexes. I am sure it is just as difficult as a straight person trying to "get" what a gay person sees in the same sex, and vice-versa, but it still doesn't make it easier.

Today I happened to stumble upon another blog with a similar tale. The author writes about her discomfort of ending a girl-girl relationship and entering into a girl-boy coupling after. One of the most telling lines in her article was when she said "I hate being in a world that defines my sexuality by the person whose hand I am holding." Problem is, when I take advantage of this little loophole, I find myself being that person. And that is ultimately harmful to my family and myself. There goes one more thing that has to change. No more loopholes. It's time to get honest.

M.M.